The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all.

Couple of things....

Happy Birthday MJ!

---

A week after my dad died my friend DWG's mother passed away. We haven't spoken much since those two events, couple of messages back and forth etc.

I guess I haven't felt much like being the social butterfly. I would imagine that he feels the same. Anywho, DWG, if you are reading this know that I am thinking about you and am here whenever you need me.

---

I don't want to sound like a broken record but you hear people say after the loss of a loved one that they would want just one more minute, one more day. It's true. What I wouldn't give for one more minute to look into my dads eyes and tell him that I love him and for him to know that its true and sincere. I miss him!

New diggs

As you may have noticed things have changed a bit here at the Smoking Redhead Club. (freakin' HaloScan)

It turns out that HaloScan (grrrr) decided to shut down, forcing me to export all of my comments.

Once that was done I found out that Blogger & HaloScan (*&$%#) don't currently have a system to inport all comments back to Blogger plus my old HTML had stripped all of the old Blogger code.

It turns out that it was easier to just go with the redesign than try to put all the code back into my current template.

Now I wait with all my exported comment files for Blogger to implement a tool to inport comments.

I'm sorry that I've lost all of your old comments for the moment but feel free to leave new ones ;)

Edit: Ya know, I think I really like the redesign. Its growing on me. I find it a lot more cheerful and serene than the other and I kind of need that right now.

I find it strange that my life just goes on as it always has. Its been 2 weeks since dad passed away and it doesn't yet seem possible that the man who raised me isn't still sitting in his chair, waiting for me to call.

My dad wasn't perfect but I always knew that if I needed him for anything he would be there. He would drive across country to pick me up if necessary, anything for his little girl.

The sadness washes over me in gentle waves at random times. Out of the blue a memory will pop into my head, mostly of his last days. Sometimes just the realization that he's gone will drive by and wave.

I miss him! I miss the knowledge that he was there. It seems like we sat in his hospital room for days, watching the progression that seemed so subtle to us all but seemed so rapid to the doctors and nurses. Then at that final moment it was over so quickly. Too quickly. One last breath and that was it. I just wish I had a little more time ya know?

“Prohibition cannot be enforced for the simple reason that the majority of American People do not want it enforced and are resiting its enforcement! That means so, the orderly thing to do, under our form of government, is to abolish a law which cannot be enforced. A law in which the people of the country do not want enforced!”

-Fiorello La Guardia (former Mayor of New York) 1937.

I've discovered that I like Facebook better since it lets me control who sees what. Nice!

Bad dreams

It is my dear friend dwg's birthday today.





You are the best friend anyone could ask for and I am so lucky to call you mine.

I hope you have a fabulous birthday ( I know, even though you're sick and life seems kind of rough, and I'm not there to party with).

I love you big guy!!

Constant headache.

I can't seem to make it go away. No matter what I take or what I do. I can keep it at bay for a brief time but it always comes back.

I've tried Excedrin, no luck. I thought I was possibly dehydrated so I've been drinking water like a mad man, nothing. I've tried caffeine. I've tried a combination of Excedrin and caffeine or caffeine and water or migraine meds with water or water and chocolate.

Seriously, I've tried everything I can think of. I dug out my glasses. No luck. I've tried the settings on my computer, nothing.

Uugghh, I'm about at the end of my rope.

Ha, I haven't tried a rope yet.

It felt like home away from home. The Christmas tree was still up in the corner and the view off the balcony was a winter wonderland with the river running through it.

I couldn't imagine a better New Years Eve than spent with friends at the b & b. The food was great, the booze was great, the company was even better and the setting, perfect. I think the highlight though was going sledding in the dark. An absolute blast I tell ya. Oh, and the fireworks were pretty cool too.

A nice rocking chair by the fire and a warm comfy bed to crawl into in the wee hours of the morning.

Welcome 2010!

Goodbye 2009

I got miles of trouble spreadin' far and wide
Bills on the table gettin' higher and higher
They just keep on comin', there ain't no end in sight
I'm just holdin' on tight

It has been an interesting year. Great at times, bad at others. As most days, months and years go. I have been so fortunate in ways. I live in an area that I love and have people in my life that I love. Through the good times and the bad times they have seen me through.

I got someone who loves me more than words can say
And I'm thankful for that each and every day
And if I count all my blessings, I get a smile on my face

Os has been an unfailing friend to me. Since my move to the Flathead we haven't had the opportunity to see each other hardly at all. Usually my trips to Helena are occupied with someone who needs my attention a little more than Os does. Fortunately for me he knows that even though we might not get a chance to stop and have that beer, I still love him.

But if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave
You just might make me believe

Since the first time I met him DWG has been as kind and generous as any friend could ever be. He gives of his time and his heart and anything else he has that I need without question or reservation. Recently he sent me an email with an extremely generous gift attached. I don't know how to possibly thank him enough for the friend he has been to me.

It's just day to day tryin' to make ends meet
What I'd give for an address out on Easy Street
I need a deep margarita to help me unwind
Leave my troubles behind

Recently I decided to apply for a job back in Helena. If I get it the move is a positive one for a variety of reasons. My mom is taking care of my dad full time now and the burden is not going to get easier. Plus, Jess and her little man are back there and every day that passes is a day of his life that I'm not going to get back. He's not old enough to know it now but soon he will be. Because of that, if God leads me back to Helena, I will go. However, it is not without a heavy heart.

But if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave
You just might make me believe

Which brings me to K. What to say about K. I am very fond of him. He will be my one real regret about leaving here. Sure, we will still see each other and there will be trips back and forth just like before but what I really hope for is...

if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave
You just might make me believe

Spokane, WA
May 20, 2010
Spokane Arena
with Tim McGraw

Wanna go?

The blackness surrounded me, blacker than anything I'd ever experienced before.

I could see the other divers above me in the faint light from the surface and started to swim upwards toward the boat.

The harder I swam for the surface, the further away it seemed to get. I could see the silhouette of the boat but could not seem to escape the blackness around me.

Just as I started to panic, I woke up.

Life has been somewhat difficult the last week or so. Not fatal disease difficult or bankruptcy difficult but hard, ya know?

This year at work we were promised a Christmas bonus. This is all "they" have talked about since September, how nice it will be to give the staff Christmas bonuses this year.

Well, long story short. I counted on this, believing that there was a Santa Claus. So much so that I decided this was a good time to pay off any remaining debt for the end of the year, credit card, etc. Foolish, foolish girl!

~sigh~ As you can probably guess, the bonuses didn't come. And, they're not coming. This combined with the fact that I paid off everything to start 2010 debt free left me with a meager balance to the old bank account.

I had to make the call to my parents and let my mom know that I wouldn't make it home for Christmas this year. My mom was disappointed that I would miss what could easily be my dad's last Christmas with us all.

Granted, I have some options but not playing with those accounts is the reason that I have it. It's not for big screen tv's or expensive vacations or even trips home for Christmas. It's so I don't have to eat cat food when I'm 80, know what I mean?

Well, don't fret dear readers. There is light in the darkness and yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. The friend who planned to come home with me for Christmas this year said to me, "I'm going to Helena for Christmas this year. I don't know where you will be but its going to be awfully awkward if you're not there to introduce me to your mom."

Don't ya just love happy endings? Brings a tear to my eye every time.

Woo hoo! the University of Montana Grizzlies football team is playing in the FCS (Division 1-AA) football championship game this evening at 6 pm (MST) . The Griz play the Villanova Wildcats in Chatanooga, TN. I for one will be watching the game, a beer in one hand and a pom pom in the other. GO GRIZ!!!

"You are the butter to my bread, the breath to my life"
~ Paul Child to his wife, Julia - Julie & Julia


~sigh~ I want someone to feel that way about me. I admit it. I want someone to look at me with adoration. I want to be the person someone doesn't want to do without.

Ahhhh. Its true. I'm a closet romantic. I want to be the butter to someone's bread.

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas, may your heart be light...

Don't ya just love posts that evolve? I kinda do and to prove it I think I'm just going to keep adding random thoughts to this one for awhile. For starters...

I'm bummed that I can't make it "home" this weekend to see Moose. We haven't seen each other since she moved far, far away and now that she's practically next door (its all relative) I'm not going to be able to see her. Frack! Sorry hon.

I will however, be home for Christmas because I just gotta. Os, I will see you then, and again, I'm sorry about this weekend.

---

Dear Santa, I have been very good this year. I haven't pulled Os' hair once and I never "borrowed" Bob's boat even though I really wanted to and I never even thought about giving the Joker a wet willy. I did do some pretty naughty things to someone else, but he liked it so it doesn't count. For Christmas this year I would really like:

Metal flask (not like the funky plastic one that I throw in my hiking pack)
A rock tumbler (I know, I know)
True Blood on DVD
Lady Antebellum Need You Now single (really like this group)

Oh, and I REALLY want to go see Lady Antebellum and Tim McGraw in concert:
Spokane, WA
May 20, 2010
Spokane Arena

Thanks Santa!

Hugs & kisses,
The Smoking Redhead

I HATE MY FUCKING JOB!!!



There's just no other way to say it.

Yep, it's an oven day!

Take the pain, take the pleasure, I'm a master of both...

Pain is the body's way of getting rid of weakness!

IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD! New Moon completely exceeded my expectations.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I am so excited.

I got New Moon tickets for Saturday.

And before you go on with "wow, you're too old to be into that" stuff let me just tell ya right now. Frack that!! I may not be a teenager anymore but I was willing to push all of those tweens out of my way if I had to in order to get tickets. Fortunately it didn't come to that ;)

I LOVE the Twilight series. The books were given to me by a friends mom and I couldn't put them down. Now I'm totally addicted to the movies.

A friend and I have had plans to see the movie for 6 months. I absolutely cannot wait!!

Put me in coach, I'm ready to play...

And I'm back in the game. Knee is good, I'm up and running and rockin' it out.

Yay me!

---

Hehe, so I'm driving home this weekend and as I'm cruising along at my normal 90 miles an hour (yeah, I know) I come over a hill and see this black car a ways in front of me. I take a closer gander and notice the distinct black and white hash marks on the back - HA! State patrolly.

I ease off the gas a bit and keep my distance, slowing down to 60 miles an hour.

Pretty soon vehicles start to ride my ass and I'm thinking to myself "yeah, go ahead buddy, pass me."

Sure enough, a bunch of hunters in trucks start to pass me and very quickly realize their mistake.

LMAO! Soon I was following four trucks who had slowed down to 60-65 as well. None of us wanting to be the door knob who gets busted passing a statie in a 70 zone.

Hehe, as soon as I turned north on the Seeley - Swan though I was hittin' the gas. ;)

Just heard from The Major and he will be home soon from Iraq - happy dance!

He returns to Ft. Hood first, then has 30 days leave in which he will be coming home to Montana before being redeployed.

~sigh~ at least he's safe.

When America had an urgent need, these brave ones raised a hand; No hesitation held them back; They were proud to take a stand.

They left their friends and family; They gave up normal life; To serve their country and their God, they plowed into the strife.

They fought for freedom and for peace on strange and foreign shores; Some lost new friends; some lost their lives in long and brutal wars.

We salute each and every one of them, the noble and the brave, the ones still with us here today, And those who rest in graves.

So here’s to our country’s heroes; They’re a cut above the rest; Let’s give the honor that is due to our country’s very best.

Take the time today to thank your fathers, brothers, sisters, husbands, friends and other loved ones for their service, both past and present, in our military. These brave men and women fight a battle everyday so that we don't have to.

To The Major, I am so very proud of you and the work you are doing. While we might not always agree on every issue, I support your service every step of the way. I hope to hear from you soon. Take care and keep your head down.

As a veteran myself I am proud of all my brothers and sisters. Fly high!

The photo below is from our paper this morning of a local family mourning the loss of
their son at Ft. Hood.
Remember their sacrifice.

Ha ha, you wanna talk about my strut? Well this morning it included a full-on face plant into the pavement when I tripped over something on the sidewalk while running.

At the time all that was really injured was my pride. I knew I had banged my hand and my knee up but went on with the run anyway.

Now that I'm back home my knee is swelling and really starting to hurt. Frack!

Oh well, such is life. Sometimes you fall down, right? How's that for a "strut"?

Holy frozen toes, Batman!!

That was an awfully cold run this morning.

Ha ha, love this!

Live Close By, Visit Often

I love ya baby, I like your company
You make me laugh
You never make me cry
I think you're sexy, I like to kiss ya
Even my dog thinks you're quite a guy

I'm not lookin for a husband
Found out the hard way it doesn't work for me
I need a friend, I want a lover
I have to be alone occasionally

So live close by, visit often
That'll work, that'll work for me
Live close by, visit often
Save us both a lot of misery

You fix me breakfast, I'll buy you dinner
We'll hit a movie on Wednesday night
You go to your place, I'll go to my place
Sounds like our plan is gonna work just right

Live close by, visit often
That'll work, that'll work for me
Live close by, visit often
Save us both alot of misery

It could be rough, it could be easy
It might be hell, might be heavenly
How do you feel? How does it strike ya?
Could you be happy with a woman like me?
Why don't ya? Why don't ya?

Live close by, visit often
That'll work, that'll work for me
Live close by, visit often
Save us both alot of misery

Happy Halloween!

Hehe, color me tickled pink! (oooh, do it again!)

My darling Joker has given me some sweet lovin' today and I just had to say thank you. Kudos to you too ya sexy hoodlum and keep up the baaaaaaaad work.

Hugs and kisses! (today's video vixens are dedicated to you hon >>>>>>>>>)

The Smoking Redhead

Early morning run

Cold, wet city streets
All alone into the black
Dark and shiny path

A New Day is Dawning

Ahhh, I feel better already. I've decided to kill 'em with kindness (see previous post).

Halloween, schmalloween. I am planning to return to the old homestead for Halloween this year. There is a very special little ellifant that I must take trick or treating so all of you old cronies in Hell town be on the look out for this little guy (the love of my life).

It is getting to the point where I hate going to the office.

Its not the work. Its her.

If I could do this job without having to deal with her on a daily basis I'd be as happy as a pig in mud.

Instead I am so sick of dealing with her bullshit that it makes me hate this job. If she would shut the hell up it would help a lot. Or maybe stay in her office and shut the hell up. Yeah, that would be even better.

Uugghhhhhhhhhhh!

...and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return. -- Leonardo de Vinci

"So what do you think of me moving?"

"Well I don't have much say in the matter. I guess I don't like it very much. I would only like it if you took me with you."

"Do you want to come with me?"

"I don't know."

"I think it would make me crazy to live with you."

~gulp~ Ouch.

I'm torn. Part of me thinks that if something isn't broken, why fix it? On the other hand I am a little pissed that I made this move and now he's moving away. Granted its only 12 miles away but its still away. Once again we will be living in different cities - great!

It's Aloha Friday, no work till Monday

Woo hoo, got the day off since I worked on Monday. It's Aloha Friday, right DWG?

Went for a morning run (yeah, even on my day off) and playing a little racquetball later (right MJ?) Gonna open up a can a whoop-ass on the court. ;)

It's Aloha Friday people, get off yer butts, enjoy the day and stay up too late tonight. All except for Os, you get some rest and take care of yourself. Love ya!

Hugs and sloppy kisses!

At 5:45 the alarm didn't go off but I woke up anyway. The chill in the room on any exposed flesh let me know that it was DAMN cold.

I went to the computer to check the temperature for my morning run - 11 degrees!?!

I quickly decided it was way too cold to run and climbed back in bed with my new fleece sheets and wool blanket. So warm!

Tonight I will be digging out all of my cold weather gear and re-evaluating my clothing options for morning runs. I am thinking that my sweats and hoodie aren't going to get the job done now that winter is in the Flathead.

---

Os, glad to see that you are back in the land of the living. Don't make me come down there and kick your ass to get you to start taking care of yourself. Damnit!

---

Damn, here I sit at the office and we just realized that today was supposed to be a paid holiday for us. Shoot!

Slipping through my fingers...

"The mountains are calling and I must go."

"Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul." ~ John Muir

The National Parks: America's Best Idea www.pbs.org/nationalparks

"Keep close to Nature's heart... and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean. "

9:00 Saturday night...

LOL, I love this site. I can't help myself.

Not around this week. Too busy with the fundraiser. No email, no phone calls, just not available. Try me on Sunday.

Hugs and sloppy kisses!



Rachie

Woo hoo! Going campin' going campin' going campin'.

I haven't been camping all summer. Hiking yes, but not camping. I get to bust out the tent and sleeping bag for the first time this fall 'cuz we're going camping. At Two Medicine. >>>>>>

Mmm...hiking trails, camp fire. Its all good!

Are ya jealous?

I bought this new DVD player a while back. Nothing fancy, no bells, no whistles.

I like this DVD player. I don't have to mess with the TV every time I turn the thing on and it's kind of slick looking.

The DVD player does something else.

(no, not that, get yer minds out of the gutter)

It keeps track of the movies I watch and where I left off the last time I watched them. For example I put a movie in the other night and it came up during the end credits. I tried a couple of other movies and it did the same thing (not all at the end credits, mind you.)

Hmm...

I think my DVD player is stalking me.

Ever feel a sense of pleasure at telling someone "no"?

This person has been a pain in my ass for a while now. I have to admit that it felt kind of good this morning to tell her no. Now she can stop calling me asking stupid questions.

Twisted, I know, but still satisfying.

She is the worst part about him. Sometimes it almost isn't worth having to be nice to her just to see him.

Little bastid

Out in Glacier last night, hanging with friends when I felt something messing around in my hair. When I went to brush it out I discovered a wasp stuck in the strands. The little bastid managed to sting me twice, bam, bam!

My finger is still swollen.

Little bastid! I drowned him in margarita. What a way to go.

Glamour model: Step in the right direction?

What is a model? Is it a pretty face? A ‘good’ body? If it is someone with a ‘good’ body, what is that? A girl who is skin and bones? I know that isn’t me, and it definitely isn’t the majority of America where the average size is a 14.

It is hard growing up as a girl in this country and being bombarded with those images. It takes a toll on young women- I know it did on me. Some companies are taking steps to help- Glamour magazine put this picture of Lizzi Miller in their latest issue to illustrate what a real woman looks like. Lizzi is a “plus size” model- although at a size 12/14 she is hardly plus size, in fact, in America, she is average. So I don’t get it, is average the new plus?

Lizzi Miller

I applaud Glamour for putting Lizzi in their magazine and showing us real women but clearly we still have a ways to go. On the cover of the same issue that Lizzi proudly shows off her soft belly, the magazine teases an article inside about “3 Flat Belly Secrets.” Now isn’t that sending a bit of a mixed message?

I remember vividly being about 8 years old and posing in front of my mirror in my bedroom like a model- Madonna’s ‘Vogue’ was big back then (don’t judge me). At the time I thought I was pretty; my parents told me I was and I was too young to be affected by things in magazines and on TV.

I also remember that blissful ignorance disappearing at an early age as I entered what is now commonly referred to as my ‘tween’ years as I was barraged with images on television, in magazines, in ads at my favorite clothing stores and on my favorite pop singers. I wanted to get a perm because I wanted curly hair like Stephanie Tanner on Full House; then a few years later I had to have a straightener because I needed my hair to be as straight as Britney Spears. I was the first of my group of girlfriends to go through my growth spurt and as I struggled to fit into the teeny tiny clothes that they still squeezed into from stores like Abercrombie & Fitch, I would sit at home and look at the catalogue and wish I were as skinny as the bony models. I was 14. I look back now at the pictures of myself and think, ‘if only I could go back and talk to that girl and tell her…’

What do you think? Should more magazines show realistic images of women like Lizzi Miller?

Marquee.blogs.cnn.com

Ah...jeez

It had been a quiet Sunday morning. Mmm...I slept in until almost 10:00, heaven in my bed with the soft flannel sheets and blankets.

Got up, made coffee, took the dog out.

And walked into a fist fight!


No shit! Not kidding. Went around the corner and here are my neighbors, screaming, yelling and two guys duking it out on the front lawn.

I quickly assessed that there were no knives or guns involved. Decided the police did not need to be called as they seemed like they could handle it. Hoped that Midget would hurry her business up so we could leave. Tried like hell to not stare and ignore the fracas going on right next door.

Finally, made it back inside, continuing to hear them yelling at each other etc. Within a few minutes it had died down but I had to chuckle at some of what I heard: "you never pay for pizza, you're a cheap ass bastard" Gotta love family fights.

Return to Sperry Chalet

Eeeeeeeeeeeee...

(that's my excited voice)

I'm off to Sperry Chalet again this weekend. Aren't I a lucky girl? I am hiking up to Sperry Chalet on Sunday for two nights and two whole sunrises at Sperry (one of my favorite things). Plus, I am hiking to Sperry Glacier on Monday (finally!). I am so excited I can't hardly stand it. Yes, it's a long hike. Yes, it's 6.5 miles all uphill but it is so worth it.

Usually when I go to Sperry it is to volunteer. To work my tail off in the short amount of time I'm there and get as much done as possible. Usually when I'm at Sperry I'm a worker bee.

Hehe, not this time (although I did volunteer to help out in the hotel, changing rooms over etc.). This trip I plan to hang out behind the hotel looking for Sperry eyes. I plan to hike to Lincoln Peak to watch the sunset. I'm going to Sperry Glacier come hell or high water. I plan to glass the hillside for signs of the sow grizzly and her cubs. I plan to read my book out on the patio and enjoy the incredible sunrises at Sperry.

Lately the weather has been kind of sketchy, fog, rain etc. That makes for some awesome moments at Sperry in the early morning as the fog rolls up the valley, past the chalet and over the mountains behind.

~sigh~ I can't hardly wait!!

Hike to Iceberg Lake

Some randomness I'm flinging your way...

Usually morning walks are quiet around here. The Midget and I get up early and go for a walk or run around 6:00. It's a nice, cool, quiet time of the day to be out exploring the neighborhoods. Ha! Not today. Today I had crows making a cacophony of cackles and wails. Today I met several people on the street either walking or biking and they all said hello (it's a friendly town). Today I had the woman come out of her office building to meet my dog. Unusual morning!

Do you ever want to tell your boss to mind their own freakin' business? Yeah, I'm there. Since returning from vacation she has been incredibly desultory AND all up in the flavor of my Kool-Aid. It's a bad combination that's bugging me!

I have a bridal shower to shop for and attend on Saturday. The girls are all going to get together and laugh, drink and be merry. Hehe, I found these naughty dice as part of her gift. I'm so bad! ;)

I'm thinking of a hike to Iceberg Lake on Sunday. New territory to cover and it will mean one more trail on my map that I can cross of. Woo hoo!

Have good weekends kiddies. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

End of July and already I can tell that Fall is on it's way to the Flathead. The nights are getting longer and colder. I've been sleeping on top of the blankets lately and woke this morning around 3:00 a.m. freezing me bum.

The soft, warm blankets were just too hard to crawl out of this morning and I hit the snooze button about 8 times (my alarm is set for 5:30, but no walk this morning. I'll have to make it up to Midget tonight).

I'm looking forward to Fall. Cooler hiking days are on the way. Nice cool breezes at night and warm, fuzzy blankets to snuggle up in.

(P.S. LOVE this video, so funny and these guys rock! Os, we HAVE to see them in concert!) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

He was leaving flowers when I arrived. A peace offering, he said.

I don't want to make him feel like he has to bring me peace offerings.

I don't like having my feelings hurt or being angry because of it either.

I hope that I treat him like he is important to me.

I deserve to be treated and spoken to like I'm important.

He did. He brought flowers.

A visitor from the land of Os!

Pizza, beer, possibly some live music and boy-bullshit (talk) is on the agenda. ;)

Sperry Chalet

My dad is coming to the end of his life.

We are now talking in terms of months, not years.

He is starting to finalize certain things and I've promised to scatter his ashes in the Park.

Throughout my entire life we had somewhat of a tumultuous relationship so I didn't expect to feel this way.

It doesn't feel good.

Another very successful trip to Sperry Chalet over the weekend. A beautiful hike, some hard work, amazing sun and moon rises, goats right outside the window, loads of snow to shovel, great food and people and many, many more memories.

Photos to follow.

Have you ever started a home improvement project and then thought "this sucks, why am I doing this again?"

Yep, I'm there.

But oh yeah, that white wallpaper with the black tulips was gawd awful, who would put that in their kitchen? Geez, it sucks stripping that crap though.

Anyone want to come strip with me? Wallpaper that is.

The Dance

One step forward. Two steps back.



Fuck!

"I see you haven't updated your blog in a while"


Yeah, so?

Can't sleep.

Just got a message from the Major. The situation has worsened where he is at and there have been a lot of recent road side bombings.

Just lying here and all I can think about is how bad it will feel if anything happens to him. How devastating that pain will be. Can't say it out loud. Can't bear to even think it almost.

I rub my eyes and think about trying to send good vibes, healthy vibes, keep him safe vibes.

Now I just ask God to watch out for him and bring him home safely.

LOL, I'm actually watching old episodes of Star Trek


;)


Oh no, not an interstellar incident?

Oh it's on...

"If you saw ME in a police car what would you think I got arrested for??"

Hard at work

Wow, fabulous work weekend out at Field Camp - our field site in Glacier National Park. I worked trail crew this past weekend and hauled and stacked rocks until my hands bled - literally! My back aches a bit, my hamstrings whimper when touched and my fingers can barely make a fist but I feel AMAZING!

A good time was had by all as some hard work and determination paid off and Field Camp looks great. Plus, getting to camp in Glacier Park as a reward for hard work makes it all worth it.

He: "So do you have the Swine flu?"

Me: "Nope. I don't even have the bacon bronchitus or the ham pneumonia."

He: "But you might have the sausage sniffles."

Me: "Yeah, I might have the sausage sniffles."

Update

Dad is still in the hospital. I'm not exactly sure what the problem is but it doesn't look good.

She should be out any time now. Mother's Day in jail royally sucked (good!) and she seems to have had a little attitude adjustment. We'll see how long it lasts.

My niece should be having her baby any minute now.

And I'm getting sick. Of course!

Still in Helena but I plan on driving back tomorrow and back to work on Thursday, unless there is a serious turn for the worst with Dad.

Os, I am so sorry we still haven't gotten together (damnit!). Things have just been crazy. I am going back up to the hospital tonight but should be at Mom's house after that. Call me.

Miss Kalispell, miss home, miss my bed, miss my space, miss, miss, miss...

Family drama

~sigh~ I am so tired!

So, she's in jail. She went to court this morning and hasn't been doing her community service so she's sporting an orange jumpsuit for at least a week. Oh, and she's been evicted for not being able to pay rent - believe me, she is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay over due.

Mom & Dad still need help with the little one. Not sure what to do about that just yet.

~sigh~ Did I mention how tired I am of all this?

A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep...

~ John Keats

Thank you!!

"Wake up Maggie I think I got something to say to you
Its late September and I really should be back at school
I know I keep you amused but I feel I'm being used
Oh Maggie I couldn't have tried any more
You lured me away from home just to save you from being alone
You stole my heart and that's what really hurt"

Happy 4/20

Don't forget to sign the petition >>>>>

It constantly amazes me the number of people who can get a drivers license without actually knowing how to READ!!

EEEE....

It's Os' birthday!!

Happy Birthday big guy, I hope you have a fabulous day!

Love you!!

Yawn

It was an exhausting weekend. I had to come home just to get some sleep. Heh, and then I didn't actually sleep very well.

It was good to see family this weekend but there ended up being some family drama (Os, I'll tell you later). Unfortunately that meant that I didn't get to see Os again this weekend. I'm so sorry big guy and I will do my best to get back there soon and then it's all about you and Howard's and some Kokanee.

For now I'm just wrung out, tired, serious laundry and unpacking to do and no motivation to do it. I just want to sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The Major is back in Iraq for his third tour of duty.

Whether you agree with why we are there or not, please pray that this war is over soon and that our friends, husbands, sons, daughters, fathers and mothers can return home soon.

I couldn't bear the thought of him not coming home!

Interesting walk to work this morning. As I pulled up to the corner across from the office a guy on a bike joined me wearing a full blown respirator mask.

Hmm...interesting fashion choice.

Love this video, love this song, love watching him rock that guitar!

I thought I was a fool for no-one
But oh baby I'm a fool for you

Quote of the weekend

"I can't believe you broke the plane."





;)

I had my very first guitar lesson last night, yay me! I learned about frets and strings and strumming and some tuning basics and I even learned an A chord.

I would really like to pick up a decent 2nd hand guitar to learn with. Last night I was just kind of messing around with a friends guitar. The one complication I had was that I'm kind of small with really small hands and the guitar is kind of big and there are some chords that really put my fingers to the test. In fact I can still feel it in the finger tips of my left hand this morning. I even have itty bitty sore spots. Plus the guitar was a little bulky sitting in my lap so I kept having to try and reposition.

Hehe, then he handed me the much smaller electric guitar - woo hoo, that was cool!

My homework is some music theory which I barely remember from my piano playing days waaaaaaaaaaay back in the day.

I am so jazzed. I just want to run out and buy a guitar so I can work some more when I get home. Watch out Os, before you know it I'll be rocking the Casbah. And yes, I will make you listen and help ;)

Hehe...

(click it to big it)

Okay kiddies, here is your chuckle for the day. ;) Have a good weekend and if you can't play nice then at least play dirty!

A week since the accident at the gym and I still hurt. I am so pissed and bummed and angry and sad.

When I moved here I left my home gym, the one I worked at and worked out at. I left behind boot camp and my Wednesday after work class that totally kicked my ass every week but I loved it.

When I left boot camp I stopped running and lifting several times a week. I ran when I first moved here but then it got cold and icy etc. It has taken almost a year but I've gained 10 pounds since I moved here. And not 10 necessary pounds in the "wow, you've added some weight and you really needed it, it looks good" kind of way. More like the "what the fuck am I going to wear?" kind of way - I absolutely hate, hate, hate it with an ever growing passion that makes me want to take a butcher knife and the vacuum cleaner nozzle and do a little home lyposuction.

I was so excited about getting back into boot camp, being back at the gym, working out, feeling good, getting my groove back in a way. Then this! This fucking accident, negligence, bullshit at the gym a week ago and I've been laid up ever since. I was ready. I was geared. I was looking forward to the pain and the ache in muscles after you know you've worked them hard.

Now I feel worse than when I started. I'm no where near to getting back into boot camp shape and to top it all off I can't work out now - my back won't let me.

This morning was spent in tears. Tears of pain, frustration and anger as I had really planned to go back to the gym this morning and start out slow. When my alarm went off at 5:00 this morning there was no way my body was going to allow me to hit the gym.

I am so frustrated and sick of taking Lortab every goram day!!!

First off....

Go sign the petition >>>>>> Click on the blinky link >>>>>>>>




Secondly, HAPPY STEAK AND BJ DAY!!! Have fun ;)

Boot Camp Log - Day 1

05:00 AM - Rise and Shine

05:30 - Report to Boot Camp

05:45 - Finish warm up

06:00 - Begin step ups with 40lb weight on shoulders

06:15 - Down on back on gym floor - severe back injury after fall from bench into wall

06:20 - Moved to low level bed/mat at gym

06:30 - Report to Emergency Room for X-Rays related to severe back injury incurred at 06:15

09:00 - Patient moved from Emergency Room to Home Base

09:30 - Prescription pain killers and muscle relaxers delivered from pharmacy and dispensed to patient

03:15 PM - Patient awake from drug induced sleep/coma

04:30 - Patient check, pizza, diet pepsi and card games provided

08:30 - Additional pain killers and muscle relaxers dispensed to patient. Patient retires for night of rest

~sigh~ :(

Bootcamp

Well, I'm back at bootcamp.

I haven't done bootcamp since I moved from Helena and I feel and look like a slug! I hate it!!

So, the K___ girl and I will be going to bootcamp at the gym a block from my house 4 mornings a week at 5:30 - uugghh, I am not looking forward to getting up for bootcamp again at 5:00 but it will feel good to get back into it, I know it will.

Plus K___ and I will really be able to motivate each other. She is determined to get into great shape for her September wedding and as the person who will be helping her with tons of wedding plans it was up to me to gut up and agree.

Plus it's going to feel really good to get back into it. It's going to feel really good to get back into it. IT'S GOING TO FEEL REALLY GOOD TO GET BACK INTO IT DAMNIT!!

;)

There is nothing like snowshoeing in Glacier National Park on a crisp winter day with sunshine glistening off the snow to force all the gunk out of your lungs and make your muscles feel fantastic.

I've been sick for a couple of days, just a cold I think but I felt pretty good yesterday (the cold medicine helped) and decided to get out and do a little snowshoeing. It felt amazing! My lungs weren't up to going a great distance but the trail we completed was wonderful: great snow, beautiful sunshine, awesome lake and a yummy lunch of homemade pizza as a reward.

My one lesson from yesterday, when you have an open blister on your heel, be careful how you hop into a hot shower - wow, that hurt like hell!