Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Saturday, December 27, 2008

I survived Christmas and I have just a brief commentary on the experience...


Fortunately my friends more than make up for it.

Love you guys!!

(Os, got your message - we'll talk)

Thursday, December 25, 2008

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

Luke 2:11

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Snow Diary

December 8 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So
romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
sight! Can there be a more lovely place in
the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've
ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a
boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered
up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got
to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry-
we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on
Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such
a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed
up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and
buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish
I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2
extra shovel s. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants
a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think
that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The
wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very

December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to
pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but
stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to
her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe
I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20

Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of
the damn snow last night. More shoveling! Took all
day. The damn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said
they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're

lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about
buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob
says I have to shovel or the city will have it done
and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold,
it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes
to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I
had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and
dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to
hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of
the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the
asshole is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house
this morning. What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She
says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke
the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I
ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow
plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and
beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just
been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25
Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn
slop tonight - Snowed in!
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate
the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking
idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one
more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It
was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze;
plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he
only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is
driving me crazy!!!

December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever
heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now
he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the
beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the
broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to
her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more

January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills
they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed??

Thursday, December 18, 2008

She: I bet you are glad you walk to work this morning huh?

Me: Yep, except for the 5 foot snow berms I had to circumvent

We just got DUMPED ON last night! It is soooo cool. The snow plows are piling snow up in the parking lots higher than my head and it is still coming. I haven't seen snow this deep in a while and I love it. Granted I'm not going to love driving in it this afternoon but I'll make it there and back I'm sure.

On second thought, if you don't hear from me by tonight you might want to call the Highway Patrol.

See ya kiddies :)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Have you ever thought to yourself "I should have just kept my &%#@ mouth shut!"?

Yeah, I'm getting that a lot lately.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Oooh baby, it's cold outside...

Woo hoo! Over the weekend we got snow. And more snow. And even more snow. It's not too deep in town but the drive to the office Christmas party of Friday night was interesting and the snow kept on a coming. You know what that means, right? Hehe, it's time for snowshoeing in Glacier Park, woo hoo!

Any outside activity right now requires lots of layers because as you can see by that little temperature gauge down to the right - go ahead and look, I'll wait - it is DAMN cold! Still I am so excited that it's finally snowshoeing time.

Grab your gear, grab your thermos full of hot chocolate and Brandy and let's go!!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Happy randomness

"I've been an awful good girl so Santa baby, hurry down my chimney tonight"...

I have been having such strange dreams lately. Last night I dreamed I was filling an endless supply of toilet paper rolls.

Monday, December 08, 2008

I started out strong - full of Christmas spirit, ready for the holiday, eager to pick out presents for those I love, put up my Charlie Brown Christmas tree, played Christmas music, watched Christmas movies. And now...

it's fading, fizzled, dimmed, it's lost the luster, it's
etiolating - I'm kind of sad about that.

Now I just want it to be over. I want to start fresh, get on with it all ready, get the holidays over with and move on to a new year.


Friday, December 05, 2008

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness..."

Audrey Hepburn

Monday, December 01, 2008