Thursday, December 31, 2009

Goodbye 2009

I got miles of trouble spreadin' far and wide
Bills on the table gettin' higher and higher
They just keep on comin', there ain't no end in sight
I'm just holdin' on tight

It has been an interesting year. Great at times, bad at others. As most days, months and years go. I have been so fortunate in ways. I live in an area that I love and have people in my life that I love. Through the good times and the bad times they have seen me through.

I got someone who loves me more than words can say
And I'm thankful for that each and every day
And if I count all my blessings, I get a smile on my face

Os has been an unfailing friend to me. Since my move to the Flathead we haven't had the opportunity to see each other hardly at all. Usually my trips to Helena are occupied with someone who needs my attention a little more than Os does. Fortunately for me he knows that even though we might not get a chance to stop and have that beer, I still love him.

But if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave
You just might make me believe

Since the first time I met him DWG has been as kind and generous as any friend could ever be. He gives of his time and his heart and anything else he has that I need without question or reservation. Recently he sent me an email with an extremely generous gift attached. I don't know how to possibly thank him enough for the friend he has been to me.

It's just day to day tryin' to make ends meet
What I'd give for an address out on Easy Street
I need a deep margarita to help me unwind
Leave my troubles behind

Recently I decided to apply for a job back in Helena. If I get it the move is a positive one for a variety of reasons. My mom is taking care of my dad full time now and the burden is not going to get easier. Plus, Jess and her little man are back there and every day that passes is a day of his life that I'm not going to get back. He's not old enough to know it now but soon he will be. Because of that, if God leads me back to Helena, I will go. However, it is not without a heavy heart.

But if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave
You just might make me believe

Which brings me to K. What to say about K. I am very fond of him. He will be my one real regret about leaving here. Sure, we will still see each other and there will be trips back and forth just like before but what I really hope for is...

if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave
You just might make me believe

Monday, December 28, 2009

Spokane, WA
May 20, 2010
Spokane Arena
with Tim McGraw

Wanna go?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009

The blackness surrounded me, blacker than anything I'd ever experienced before.

I could see the other divers above me in the faint light from the surface and started to swim upwards toward the boat.

The harder I swam for the surface, the further away it seemed to get. I could see the silhouette of the boat but could not seem to escape the blackness around me.

Just as I started to panic, I woke up.

Life has been somewhat difficult the last week or so. Not fatal disease difficult or bankruptcy difficult but hard, ya know?

This year at work we were promised a Christmas bonus. This is all "they" have talked about since September, how nice it will be to give the staff Christmas bonuses this year.

Well, long story short. I counted on this, believing that there was a Santa Claus. So much so that I decided this was a good time to pay off any remaining debt for the end of the year, credit card, etc. Foolish, foolish girl!

~sigh~ As you can probably guess, the bonuses didn't come. And, they're not coming. This combined with the fact that I paid off everything to start 2010 debt free left me with a meager balance to the old bank account.

I had to make the call to my parents and let my mom know that I wouldn't make it home for Christmas this year. My mom was disappointed that I would miss what could easily be my dad's last Christmas with us all.

Granted, I have some options but not playing with those accounts is the reason that I have it. It's not for big screen tv's or expensive vacations or even trips home for Christmas. It's so I don't have to eat cat food when I'm 80, know what I mean?

Well, don't fret dear readers. There is light in the darkness and yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. The friend who planned to come home with me for Christmas this year said to me, "I'm going to Helena for Christmas this year. I don't know where you will be but its going to be awfully awkward if you're not there to introduce me to your mom."

Don't ya just love happy endings? Brings a tear to my eye every time.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Woo hoo! the University of Montana Grizzlies football team is playing in the FCS (Division 1-AA) football championship game this evening at 6 pm (MST) . The Griz play the Villanova Wildcats in Chatanooga, TN. I for one will be watching the game, a beer in one hand and a pom pom in the other. GO GRIZ!!!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

"You are the butter to my bread, the breath to my life"
~ Paul Child to his wife, Julia - Julie & Julia

~sigh~ I want someone to feel that way about me. I admit it. I want someone to look at me with adoration. I want to be the person someone doesn't want to do without.

Ahhhh. Its true. I'm a closet romantic. I want to be the butter to someone's bread.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas, may your heart be light...

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Don't ya just love posts that evolve? I kinda do and to prove it I think I'm just going to keep adding random thoughts to this one for awhile. For starters...

I'm bummed that I can't make it "home" this weekend to see Moose. We haven't seen each other since she moved far, far away and now that she's practically next door (its all relative) I'm not going to be able to see her. Frack! Sorry hon.

I will however, be home for Christmas because I just gotta. Os, I will see you then, and again, I'm sorry about this weekend.

Dear Santa, I have been very good this year. I haven't pulled Os' hair once and I never "borrowed" Bob's boat even though I really wanted to and I never even thought about giving the Joker a wet willy. I did do some pretty naughty things to someone else, but he liked it so it doesn't count. For Christmas this year I would really like:

Metal flask (not like the funky plastic one that I throw in my hiking pack)
A rock tumbler (I know, I know)
True Blood on DVD
Lady Antebellum Need You Now single (really like this group)

Oh, and I REALLY want to go see Lady Antebellum and Tim McGraw in concert:
Spokane, WA
May 20, 2010
Spokane Arena

Thanks Santa!

Hugs & kisses,
The Smoking Redhead

Monday, December 07, 2009


There's just no other way to say it.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Yep, it's an oven day!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Pain is the body's way of getting rid of weakness!