Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Sad

"Rachie, I hate to tell you this but the whole job/interview is an April Fool's joke..."

He is sad to think of me leaving. I know he is. He has told me that he's happy for me if this is what I want but he's sad to see me go.

She is sad to think of me leaving. She is my best friend and I know she is very sad to think of my not being around all the time.

I was left behind when she moved away for a job. Our friendship lasted from Havre to Helena, through road trips and weekend hang outs. I am confident that it will last again but I hate the thought of leaving her behind when I know she is so very sad to see me go.

I feel that if I stay though it will be for others and not for myself. I feel like I've spent a life time doing "the right thing" and always thinking of others. I want to do this for myself. I hate to leave all those who make my life here so rich but I am so excited by this prospect. I am afraid I would be kicking myself if I didn't try.

It may end up being a moot point. I may meet with the board tomorrow and they might question how I made it that far in the interview process. For now I'm going to the interview with plans to be my charming self and leave the rest up to God.

We shall see.

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