Conversations while hiking

Me: My mom would like my dad so much more if she just got stoned.

He: That's one way to get through the holidays.

Me: It would be the only way to get through the holidays with my family.

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He: Yeah, I'm going out with her again tonight. I don't really like her but she wouldn't leave me alone.

Me: You never do a second date if you don't like her, I don't care how good the sex was.

He: I know. I don't want to go but I'm stuck now. This is definitely the second and last date.

Me: Because we only go out on first dates with guys we're interested in, even a little bit, and if you've committed to a second date then in her mind it means you are interested in her, even a little bit.

He: That's what thinking with my dick gets me.

Me: That's why men name their penis, they don't want a stranger making 90% of their decisions for them.

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Me: Women all like to think they're Samantha but deep down we all are a little Carrie and Charlotte too.

He: Maybe you think you want to be like Samantha but it just doesn't fit. Men are just excited to meet a woman who's horny.

Me: And horny is fine and great and fun but does that have to be everything it's about? Women can be all for horny and fun but we don't like feeling like a whore you don't have to pay.