Ahhhh.... Spring sunshine mixed with a little rain. Making candles for the church. Baking peanut butter, chocolate chip cookies. Playing with the "kids." What a fabulous way to spend a Saturday.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Ahhhhhhhh.....

The sun is out.

It feels like a breath of fresh air after being sucked to the bottom of the ocean.

It's a day full of beautiful possibilities. Hmm...I think I'll work in the yard. It's time to start thinking of the garden. And green grass. And hiking. Ooooh, and back country camping. ~sigh~ I can't wait!

Boot camp and running again feel wonderful!!

Happy Spring kids. It feels good doesn't it?

I feel such profound guilt over her death. At times it still feels unbearable.

I hate death.

I want to rail against death.

It's not fair. The people who care and love get no say in death.

Death decides the time has come or takes a detour along his journey and life is lost.

It's not fair. I am so angry. So sad. I want to scream at death. I want to hit death. I want to demand that the life I loved be returned to me. I want it back. I want her back.

I want her back, damnit!!!

I still miss her so bad sometimes that it feels like my heart is breaking all over again.

It's not fair.

It's been almost a year.

January 31st.

I'm starting to feel it.

If you are looking for me I'll be over here...

Os told me I had to update my blog but just to spite him I'm not going to.

;)




(love you Os)

Weeeellll...

The summer hasn't started quite like I planned. Four days into the Sperry season I slipped on snow and rocks and broke my right wrist. Now I'm down the mountain in a very uncomfortable cast waiting for a follow-up dr. appointment on the 13th. Hopefully he will put a different cast on and I can go back to work on the 14th.

This whole thing has been sooo frustrating and I just want this off so I can have use of my right hand again.

Did I mention that I'm right-handed?

Gaaaaaaaaaaaa!

It was brought to my attention over beer the other night that I haven't posted anything to the blog in a while. Os even knew the date when I last posted - I didn't even know that. Hmmm Os, stalker much? ;)

Sorry for being so neglecting of my faithful readers, all four of you but I haven't had much to write about as of late and for the most part have been making brief updates to Facebook.

Anywho, I have cleaned and moved out of the great apartment I had with the WONDERFUL closet space (I had a closet specifically just for shoes - a girl's dream) and the cute balcony with the squirrel that used to come by and visit. I have 90% of my "stuff" in storage and my Sperry bags packed with a few minor exceptions of small things that need to go in last minute.

The time is rapidly approaching and then I really will be out of touch for the summer. All Crystal Lite care packages should be sent to Sperry Chalet ;)

Today I have plans for a short hike, then I will be spending the next two days with Os and his family attending the viewing, mass and funeral (if you don't know what I'm talking about jump over to Os' blog).

Will try to update at least once more before I go. Have a fabulous summer kiddies, I know I will and will be sure to post a ton of photos when I come out of the back country.

I had a dream about my dad this morning and woke up in tears.

We were dancing and in the dream I had my feet on his like little girls do.

Suddenly he just stopped and walked away and my mom appeared and said "I never could figure out why he didn't make time for you."

Sad.

It's Official

I got the job. I'm leaving the end of June to go work for the summer at Sperry Chalet.

I can't tell you how excited I am. Yes, it's completely hike in. Yes, it's totally remote with no cell phone, no Internet. Yes, it's surrounded by mountains and glaciers that I love and yes!!! There are no cell phones or Internet.

Did I mention that I'm excited as the day is long?

I have wanted to do this for years and everything just kind of fell into place this year. It's such a great opportunity for some serious exposure to the backcountry of Glacier. I will be working every day of the 11 week season but there is still time to hike during the day, at least a little. That is one of my goals this summer, to hike EVERY day. Other goals include being a hard worker and a good example, with a positive attitude and sunny smile but hiking every day!?! Can you believe it???

Eeeee gaaaaaads!!!

I'm in heaven!