I had just passed three and a quarter miles on the treadmill when he walked through the gym. Tall, very athletic and absolutely the biggest guy I had ever seen in person. His arms were huge, his chest absolutely enormous. His thighs had to be the size of my waist. What is that movie line, "his cones were bigger than mine?" (Okay, shut up! I know that doesn't take much).

He was talking with the gym manager at the time and all I could do was stare. I was completely in awe. I found myself not staring in admiration necessarily but more dumbfounded by the sheer size of the guy. It was then that he caught my gaze.

The smile crossed his face and he turned his attention back to Rhonda but then glanced my way again. I'm sure he thought I was admiring all of his efforts with the free weights. Rhonda caught me staring as well and waved me over.

I began to slow the treadmill and tried to think of how to be polite and unembarrassed when it happened.

Not the gaze across the crowded room, no electric spark. I didn't hear Puccini over the loudspeaker. In the process of trying to slow the treadmill, be nonchalant and graceful at the same time my betraying feet caught underneath me.

Those of you who know me are familiar with my moments of grace as well as those moments when I am a complete spaz. Trust me when I tell you this was a complete spaz moment.

My body twisted off the treadmill, my hands on the rails, my feet splayed out behind me and down I went off the back like a mouse spit out by it's wheel.

Ah, but fear not for our heroine's safety loyal readers. Just as quickly as I slid off the treadmill I jumped up, bowed ever so gracefully and proclaimed "now for my next trick!" to a hearty round of applause in the circuit room of my gym - thank you very much!

A sweep

Yeah baby!! The Red Sox swept the Yankees at Fenway Park. That hasn't happened since 1990. The Sox played some long ball with four straight homers in the third inning and Papelbon to close out the game by striking out Jeter and A-Rod.

That's what I'm talkin' about!

Got your pants on? Your grumpy ones?

Work is busy, personal life is busy. There is a lot on my plate right now. I've been putting in late hours at work and early hours at the gym and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and raw. Little things have been getting to me and I need to rest for a while, to slip into some solitude. I need to not think about anyone else, just some time for myself.

I need some spring and some sunshine and to hit the gym and the hiking trail and spend some time just breathing. I need to go camping and be outdoors.

Got that not really knowing what I need but knowing I need to not think or feel or do for a while feeling. Know what I mean?

4/20

Conversations while drinking...

He: I want you to help me with a joke. Now we'll need to be out at night so dress in black and...

Me: Wait, why are you bringing me into this?

He: Because you have a little bit of criminal element in you.

Me: Excuse me?

He: I know you have a bad girl in you.

Me: So were you thinking the little black cocktail dress and satin heels or should I have more of an O.J. thing going on?

It's official

As of last Friday, the 6th, I have officially been divorced for as long as I was married. They should cancel each other out then, right? A fresh start. Like it never happened.

Except for the $5000.00 plus I just found out I have to pay in medical bills for HIS dumb ass. Oh yeah, that was a reminder.

Ah well, chalk it up to a lesson learned.

And people wonder why I shout "DON'T DO IT!" when I see couples getting ready to marry.

I need to...

take a day off ✓
drink a little bourbon ✓
get a little stoned ✓
get a lotta laid ✓
chill out ✓
relax ✓

Thanks! ;)