Ahhhh.... Spring sunshine mixed with a little rain. Making candles for the church. Baking peanut butter, chocolate chip cookies. Playing with the "kids." What a fabulous way to spend a Saturday.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Ahhhhhhhh.....

The sun is out.

It feels like a breath of fresh air after being sucked to the bottom of the ocean.

It's a day full of beautiful possibilities. Hmm...I think I'll work in the yard. It's time to start thinking of the garden. And green grass. And hiking. Ooooh, and back country camping. ~sigh~ I can't wait!

Boot camp and running again feel wonderful!!

Happy Spring kids. It feels good doesn't it?

I feel such profound guilt over her death. At times it still feels unbearable.

I hate death.

I want to rail against death.

It's not fair. The people who care and love get no say in death.

Death decides the time has come or takes a detour along his journey and life is lost.

It's not fair. I am so angry. So sad. I want to scream at death. I want to hit death. I want to demand that the life I loved be returned to me. I want it back. I want her back.

I want her back, damnit!!!

I still miss her so bad sometimes that it feels like my heart is breaking all over again.

It's not fair.

It's been almost a year.

January 31st.

I'm starting to feel it.